woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
