Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
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We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize