Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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