before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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