Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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