Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
