Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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