i would punch a child for taco bell
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Let's paint friendship bongs
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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