why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
