the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
