it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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