eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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