i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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