I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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