I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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