he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
