Got a toothbrush?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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