I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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