I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
