I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it glows. i had to have it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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