with your own penis?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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