There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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