Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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