the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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