This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
