3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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