I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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