I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
