I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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