I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
