i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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