chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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