i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize