Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
