Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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