Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
