K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This is my gift to your gina
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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