its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
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I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
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HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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