There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
