How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
