The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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