then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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