i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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