how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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