i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
