don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
