actually, I'm a sock model
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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