You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
