Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
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Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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