just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
