Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
