went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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