it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
