You're so nebulous sometimes
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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