i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
