just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
