He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
